DARKNESS

After my very disturbing dream, it left me dazed. Even the day after, I was just walking around my apartment, wondering why it even happened. It seemed too real for it to be just a dream. But I guess it was. Just a dream.


I love looking out from my window, and on this particular night, there was a full moon. I was alone, and it was just me and the heavens above. I had wanted my dream to reocurr, like wanting your man to come back home to you, but it was more like a phantom, and I needed to deal with this. So I gazed out, and in my aloneness, I came to gripps of what I was, and all the secrets I had hidden within me. And my dream.


The darkness surrounded me, and it was total solidarity. I loved it. Anyone could be walking in now for all I knew, but I would continue in the darkness, and not let anyone disrupt it. The light from my bedroom window cast a blue haze on my unmade bed.

....Just as these thoughts passed through my mind, a man came in, unannounced, saying my name. I turned around, and I could hardly see him. After all, it was dark, and the twilight of the night was captivating. I too said hello, then turned around again, hoping he would leave. I was just about to ask him so, when that haunting voice reminded me of someone. He said softly, it's me, I'm your new neighbor above you. I just moved in. At first I didn't care what he said, so I took his announcement without great notice. Then I suddenly froze.

There wasn't an apartment above me. There weren't any apartments above me.

I looked around hoping to see him, and I knew who he was, that I would run into his arms, wanting him in my bed, wanting him to want me, when all I could see was nothing standing there.

I ran down my apartment building, hoping to see where he went to. Maybe I could see him downstairs, if only I could get there in time. No one was there, as if he had vanished into thin air.

DIRTY LITTLE SECRETS, DIRTY LITTLE LIES

Mike finally left. I wonder if he enjoyed hearing about my dream. He's my neighbor from downstairs. Now it's your turn to talk with me. I'd love having you over.

Do you have dirty little secrets? Do you ever tell lies? If so, why don't you tell me what they are. I have a lot of secrets, and their all dirty. Some are scary, and some just horrible. I've told a lot of lies, after all, I'm a liar. Sometimes I have to be.

Where do you live? I live in New Orleans, in an old 1930's brick apartment building in the French Quarters. It has a beautiful court yard where I sometimes go out and sit. I like living in my apartment building. No one bothers you there. I'm in apartment 9 nine, but I'm sure you know that by now.

What do you do?

Would you like to know what I do? I do a lot of things. A lot goes on in apartment 9 nine, but do you know what it is?

There's times you can walk into my apartment and catch me sitting in the dark. Sometimes I just sit there, thinking of the things I do. And then I think of doing what I do even better. What lie will I tell my next visitor, what secret will he tell me? Will I hold it against him? Will it be safe with me? I'm good at keeping secrets. Secrets are a part of my life. I live in one big secret. But that's ok, I'm used to it.

One time a visitor told me he killed his wife. I thought he was kidding to get some extra attention, but he went into such graphic detail's, that I couldn't help but believe him. Was I nervous? A little. Did I turn him in? Hell no! I told you, I'm good at keeping secrets.

Another visitor told me that he didn't have a penis. Of course I had to see this for myself, and guess what? You give up? Well it was true, he didn't! Nasty sight!

Someone once told me they had robbed a bank and got away with it. But it got botched up, ending with the death of a security guard. He told me he shot him dead.

A man told me that his ill wife needed her medication while going into some kind of epileptic censurer, and purposely didn't give her the pills that could have saved her. As he watched her struggling to reach for her pills, he stood there, not doing a thing to help. He said she looked at him in amazement, knowing he wasn't coming to her aide. He watched her die right in front of him. He inherited everything she had.

This is my apartment before I moved in. The doors were painted a soft pink color. I like pink, so for the most part, I kept it the same way. This is one of the rooms where I hear a lot of secrets my visitors tell me.

So, when are you going to tell me one of your secret's? I'd love to hear them.

WAS MY DREAM REAL OR WAS I DREAMING?

Well, that was some ride, now wasn't it? Hey, did you keep up with me there? Would you like another drink? Your name is Mike? You know that was an unbelievable dream, wasn't it? When I woke up, I didn't know if I was coming or going. I mean, some dreams make you stay in a crazy kind of mood.


When I woke up from it, I just walked over to my window and gazed out.

I was in a somber mood, and I felt tired from it. What do you think Mike, do you think I'm crazy? But it was just so real, it FELT so real, like having the most amazing sex I had ever had. If I were to possibly describe what I felt, there aren't any words to really describe it. Describing it wouldn't do it justice.